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The thing is when you think all is sky high, you fall to rock bottom. It’s not even funny how fast that fall is. When you have people around who you say they’ll support you, say they care about you, say they love you, and how they’ll always be there for you, its usually a lie. Nothing I could ever do would get me respect, even from flesh and blood I was doubted from day one. I’ll never amount to shit, never make a name for myself. But the interesting thing is that all those people who said they’d be there for me slowly disappeared into the dark. They left a man standing alone screaming to the heavens why, but all he really was was just a boy. It’s not worth fucking selling my soul to appease any bitch or buddy, so I stand here tall without anybody. There are talking heads, there are false crutches, but in the end there’s nothing but me.

I’ll do all of this for me, no more for someone else. Fuck that motivation, it kills my drive. I’ll end up standing tall while everyone falls and crumbles. Yet there’s no reason to be completely cynic, there are a few people who truly care about me, you know who you are and I appreciate every bit of help I get from you all. I love you all like blood, and I know we’re closer than blood.

A man sits alone pondering those thoughts that would scare the hell out of everyone who would even dare peak in. He sits there wondering if it’s worth feeling bad, if it’s worth feeling like shit, over something so miniscule. He takes another sip, he’s wondering why the fuck he’s even doing this. The buzz doesn’t keep him from missing her. Takes another sip, and lays back staring at the sky wondering what would’ve happened if it stayed true to this moment.

Recent news has led him to the edge of insanity. All that’s on his mind is vengeance, regret, disgust, and confusion. He’s always looking forward, but for some reason today he can do nothing but look back. He hates the past. It always reminds him of his mistakes and keeps him from wanting to live his life fully. Then he takes another sip and begins to walk further into the tunnel to insanity. God, family, morals, and sanity were checked at the door. He’s got nothing left but this bottle and these thoughts.

He’s been called a cynic, a pessimist, and a man of little faith and hope. Yet, he stands here with his hands to the sky crying out for a God that will not answer. It seems God has forgotten him, he falls to the ground crying and simply does what gives him the slight relief he urges for. He takes another sip and begins to curse everything, from her, to his family, and finally to him. They didn’t know what their actions began, or maybe they did. Paranoia isn’t always false, sometimes there’s truth behind a suggestive thought.

He takes the final sips and collapses yet again to the ground. He shatters the bottle and continues to battle his inner dialogue. For it’s no longer a matter of if, but when. When will he tip over the edge and take care of it all? There’s a lack of empathy in his eyes as he stares down into the bottle looking for more liquid salvation. People speculate but they will never truly understand how he thinks. Well a better way to put that would be how he thought. He lost his rationality and what had made him bright long ago. That fateful day led him to this demise, it fueled it. All that’s left now is the thoughts of distrust, disrespect, and disgust.

The man makes his staggering way back to his liquid salvation, the bottle that’ll solve all of his problems. Even if for a moment of relief, he will fight years for it. It left him in absolute horror to see himself staring at an empty fridge, nothing but water bread. There’s no 50 proof magical drink left that’ll soothe his shattered psyche. He tries to salvage anything from the bottle in his hand, before giving up. He falls to the floor once again this time crying for all the people he has let down, including himself. He takes the bottle and throws it at the wall shattering it into pieces. He watched the pieces fall forcefully to the ground, as if planned he watched them fall in slow motion. He then got up, ran out of the room and made his way down to the building where he knew what was going down. The door was locked, it has already happened. He screams at the sky to the God that has forsaken him, screams at the devil for joining him, and screams at her for destroying him.

He heads back to his apartment blinded with anger, and this time no bottle to drown out his pains. He runs to the bathroom, opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out the pills. He takes one because of his need for any relief. It’s the emotional crutch that led to this. He screams for God as he throws back a few more pills, but there’s no answer. He remembers it clearly now, as he meets his demise. He’s never done anything to render him untrue. While screaming to the heavens that have forsaken him, he curses the name that led to this. As he loses his grip to life, she runs through the door apologizing through tears for what happened. But it’s far too late, another man walks through the door and stays silent. At one point, this man was once close to the newly deceased. They knew damn well what they were doing, but they didn’t consider the consequences. She professes her love to him as he’s taken away in a body bag, never to be heard from again. It’s true that this story has no happy ending, but life rarely does. Just love who you have when they’re around you, not when they’re gone.

Your thought process can be deadly or helpful. It can hurt you or help you. In the end, it’s all up to you. It’s up to how you handle that process, and how you manipulate it. You’ll always ponder your purpose. You’ll even think you don’t deserve your life, your significant other, or even your surroundings. It’s a dangerous thought cycle, but something that always seems to pop in. Whether you admit it or not, you’ve thought about it. You end up hurting yourself, for trying to find that purpose. Hell, you may even end up hurting your relationship with others for it. You’ll one day regret it forever.

You feel as if you’re wandering around scattered, scared, alone, and senseless. You’ll try to find that purpose in others, which will most likely fail. You can’t find yourself in others, people do not complete you. People compliment you. There’s no other way around it. That new car, the hot girlfriend, nor the obnoxious amounts of money available will ever make you rest on the inside. It simply won’t complete you. This is a wrong mentality, nothing should complete you. Things should compliment, enhance you. Nothing is perfect and no one should be expected to be perfect. I’ve loved once before, and I’ll love once again. This myth about love that there’s a stint about how it should be a one-time thing is a lie. There’s a reason love turns to hate.

People don’t seem to understand how simply things can go, how simple gender roles could be adjusted based on personality rather than social norms. I tried to adjust it once and felt I found someone who was able to feel what I did and adjust willingly, now I’m just fucked up because of it. I’ll get over it, we always do. Yet why does it feel worse than any piece of physical pain? Why does all that love turn into hate? Why do you absolutely hate that person who you once said you loved? There are many questions left to be answered, which can only be answered by you when you’re able to.

The secret to everything isn’t that you should act more mature. It’s not that you should act emotionless. It’s that you should accept your emotions and learn to deal with them instead of mask them. You’ll only grow as a person, and essentially mature when you learn to deal with things. Hiding behind excuses, behind lies, and behind alcohol and narcotics, will not do a damn thing for you. You will not feel better, you will not get over it faster, and you will not learn to love again. You have to teach yourself to love again, and you can only do that by exposing yourself to that feeling of connecting with someone again. Then again, what do I know? I’m just some douchebag behind a computer telling you these things. Figure it out for yourself, I can’t help you with everything.

At times you fail to realize who you hurt the most. It could be that significant other, a friend you focus on, or a friend you don’t even pay attention to. It’s sometimes its hard to truly believe how easily someone could be hurt, even when left behind. Sometimes those are the ones hurt the most, those left behind. The forgotten are the ones that no one gives a fuck about. Sometimes they take it quietly and fade off into the black, it could be multiple times, or once for good. Other times they take it by violently lash out, either verbally or physically. When your psyche is harmed, your body goes in panic, your mind goes into attack mode and you become defensive.

You feel you have nothing that is true, nothing that truly defines you. Sometimes you may have to go back where you started from; it’s sometimes the only option. People don’t always see it that way and try to fight for what it is, but in the end their fighting goes unwarranted. Because no one truly gave a fuck, not even those you held close to you. Not even the people you let into your reality, not even the ones you shared your reality with. It’s sometimes those very people who happen to hurt you the most. And it fucking sucks, there’s no other alternative than to move on and learn from your past. However, the mistake people make from ‘learning from their past’ is sometimes using their past as a precedent so they end up pushing away those who truly are worthy of being in that world, that reality.

It’s quite interesting how simple the human mind is, yet how complex it is. It’s simple how easy it is to break it down, yet how complex it is when you take a look at the bigger picture. I’m by no means an expert, but I can tell you many references to why I think this. It’s simple how simple emotions can churn, morph, and turn vile. You’ll be referencing your fall in your head, what makes you wrong. You’ll want to give up, no matter what you do. You might even end up giving up, and then you’ll be crying one day wondering why. Which will motivate you to once again attempt your goal, however at that time it may be too late or you may not have enough strength to finish your journey. You’ll fall into a puddle of your tears, sweat, and blood and rise with nothing but regret for that moment. The moment of weakness led to you laying there broken in your own fluids.

So think about that before you’re too scared to start all over. Or too proud to look at yourself and admit fault. Remember that your only true friend is your psyche, only your mind will be there for you in the grimmest times. And only your mind can guide you through them. Positive thinking is oh so much more than just being peppy, it’s about strengthening your psyche for a moment much like this.

At times it seems like life is just outrageous. Things happen that make you question your surroundings and your beliefs. At times it’s hard to just go on, when the only thing that truly listens to you is that bottle, which is empty and bare now. It reminds me of how alone a man truly can be. It makes one think that woe is me, until they decide to do something about it. Men deal with it in different ways, whether it’s the bottle of whiskey, the line of cocaine, the cigarette, the marijuana, or even love. Each are intoxicating in their own way, each help ease the pain, they help ease that mentality. It helps convince you that you were wrong all along.

So I sit here, in my room and I look to the sky wondering why this could ever happen to me. How anyone could fall as quickly as I have. But I realized that night it’s what happens when you balance most of your life on that one aspect. That one high that you strive for, and when it’s gone in one way or another it causes you to crash. You burn and have to start at square one.

There’s always that one, the one that steals your breath away. The one that slows your instincts, retards your reactions, and simply soars above all else. She’s the one that knows what to say, what games to play, and what to do to keep you held high. She eventually becomes the fruit of your emotional wellbeing, a mistake of yours and a gift from her. There’s always that thought in the back of your head, how she’s so important to you and how wrong it is.

No matter how much you loved them, no matter how much they gave you. No matter how much they did for you, after it ends they give you nothing but hate. Hate towards yourself, her, the world, and everyone around you. These lungs have sung the song before, for too long perhaps. They seem to forget that you once loved them, and that you’re hurting too. Things will be said, and the negatives will be put forth however there will always be that positive base and it’ll never die in either person.

All there is left to do is to move on, grow as a person, and accept everything. When it fell apart, you were probably crushed, hell you were probably pissed but you have to remember to keep the promises you made. Regardless of what’s going on, you have to remember your integrity and your persona. Learn that even in distress, the strongest part of you will be your integrity.

You’ll be surprised how fast you drown, when things go down. You’ll also be surprised how bad you want to just give up. You can never give up, because if you give up they win. Who are they? You know exactly who they are; it’s the doubters, the haters, the people who are jealous, and the people who are happy at your demise.

What if there was a way to prove them wrong? What if there was a way, you could fulfill that hole in your life, without the need for a filler girlfriend who never respected you in the first place? What if I told you that it’s very possible? What if I told you that regardless of what you may think or how sure you are about it, that it could very well be completely wrong?

The only difference between me and what you may think I am is that I’m not in this for money or for marketing or e-peen size. I couldn’t fucking care less if you applaud me as a master-mind, hell I don’t even care if you disregard me as a crazy person. I’ll put my information and findings free for everyone to see. The most that’ll ever be on here is a Google AdSense to help the page pay for itself. The whole make people pay to fix their lives shit is a capitalistic mindset, which I’m very against. You’ll see the basis of The Detroit Method, and you’ll see how well it works. I’ll be having a few close friends who use a similar style as me also post stories and tips. It’s a quite simple thing when you really understand a few key subjects, but to really understand those you need experience.